Three Weeks Ago

Photo Courtesy: Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Photographer Cristina 

Isabella, It's been about 3 weeks since you were in our arms. Mommy and Daddy think about you every single hour of each day. We have pictures of you on our phone and Mommy can't help but look at your precious face and think back to that night I held you, talked to you and checked for all 10 fingers and toes and just cried for you. I cherish all the memories we made with you for 34 weeks and hold them dear in my heart. These past 3 weeks have been tough on me without you here. I can't hear a baby cry without thinking of you and wishing you were crying for Mommy. The sight of a baby brings me to tears. The day we left the hospital without you was extremely hard on me. Seeing a lady in a wheelchair in front of me so excited to take her newborn son home crushed my heart. I hated that I had to leave with just memories of you and not able to physically carry you out of the hospital. The babies cry brought me to tears that day, I was looking forward to Daddy carrying you out in your new carseat and hearing you cry on the way out the door. 

They day we arrived back from the hospital without you, was so hard. Going into our apartment without you, seeing all your stuff from the baby shower tore my shattered heart into a thousand more pieces. Sister Lexi was smelling everything, looking for her little sister Isabella. She ran and sniffed your stroller, hoping to see you in there. This brought me to tears, knowing that Lexi would never get to meet you. We wondered how she would react with you here but I'm sure she would have been very over protective of you.

My little angel, you are always on my mind and I sleep with your monkey Mommy and Daddy bought for you when we found out you were entering our world. I also sleep with your blanket your Nana made for you. I can't sleep without them, having them next to me is like having you there with us. We kiss your monkey each night and pray to you as well. My sweet Isabella, I miss you so much and cry for your everyday. You are forever in my heart, and will always be my baby girl.

Mommy loves you so much Isabella Grace. I hope your Great-Great-Grandpa has showed you what heaven has to offer you.

Love Mommy!