A Mother's Loss Part I

Saturday March 2, 2013 was a usual workday. R's alarm went off at 5:45am and he is scrambling to get out of the house on time. 6:00am he reaches for the blankets to kiss me as usual and saves his last kiss for Isabella. He always has a routine before leaving, he kissed me first and always made sure to kiss Isabellas and tell Lexi by right before leaving the bedroom. My alarm goes off at 6:30am and I start getting ready for work. 34 weeks pregnant, getting up out of bed was getting harder and harder each day. I was exhausted, drained, tired, you can only imagine what I felt after working all week and starting a weekend shift as well and not being able to sit for 8+ hours. I'm so tired, I don't even feel like leaving the apartment. I get to work and everyone at work says "Rochelle, you look tired!" My reply "I am tired, I'm more than tired. I'm so ready to go on maternity leave soon." I told one of my other team members that I was probably going to leave early when my mid-shift got in at 10am. I just felt I needed to go home, and kick up my feet and rest. 

12pm comes around and I'm clocking out of work with a kicking baby girl. I was  so ready to go home and eat and take a nap before R got home. I get in the car, blast the radio to some country and sing on the way home to Isabella. I get home and my little dancer is kicking away, moving all sorts of ways in my stomach. I lay down on the couch on my left side and what do you know, that girl is kicking my right side like crazy. She would always kick up a storm when I laid on my left side. I slept till R got home from work around 5pm. We relaxed for a while and headed to the bank to deposit some money around 7:30pm. On the way to the bank Isabella started moving. On the drive back home, she moved some more. We get upstairs and start making a quick dinner and she didn't move much. I didn't think anything of it, she was probably sleeping like usual. We go to bed, and I lay on my left side and didn't feel any kicks like usual. I tell R, he comforts me and says not to worry she is ok. So we go to bed as usual. He kisses me good night, and talks to Isabella and tells her goodnight.

Sunday, March 3rd.....5:45am R's back up doing his normal work routine. My alarm goes off as usual, 6:30am. I get up and Isabella hasn't moved. That was not like her, she always moves when I get up at this time. I start freaking out. I get the doppler we have to hear her heartbeat and I can't find it. I start freaking out even more. I start attempting to get ready for work and text R. He tells me to calm down and that everything is ok. I text him back and let him know everything is not ok. It's not like Isabella to not move at this time. He tells me to call the Dr. I pick up the phone and spend almost an hour with the answering service to try and speak with the Dr. I thought I was suppose to be at work at 7:30am so I'm on the phone, driving to work. 

I get to work and one of my managers opens the door. I have my phone on speaker and start balling... "I might have to leave, I haven't felt my baby move so I'm waiting for the Dr to see if she wants me to go to the hospital" He looks at me with a shocked face and says ok, thats fine. I see one of my team members there opening up Starbucks and I ask, "What are you doing here? I thought I was suppose to open" We are both confused as to why we are both there. I get to the office, and check my schedule. My manager had changed my schedule to 2pm to close. I was not aware of this change, again I'm still on the phone waiting to speak to my Doctor. My team member gets my HR, to help calm me down. She starts telling me to calm down and stop thinking negative. I reply, "I know something is wrong, it's not like her. She always moves, always and I haven't felt her move at all. Not even a poke is getting her to move!" Everyone keeps telling me everything is alright, and all I want to hear is the doctors voice on the other end to tell me everything is ok and not to worry.

She finally gets on the phone and I tell her I haven't felt the baby move since Saturday night. "Go in to the hospital, and the nurses will call me once you get there." I start freaking out again. My family is in San Antonio, R is at work, his mom is probably still sleeping, I have to do this on my own till R gets there. 

To be continued.....